Who Signed Me Up for this Sh*t?

As I sat listening to three kids under the age of 8 all cry simultaneously, while I try to put some sort of meal together to feed them, while thinking about the laundry needing to be washed, the lessons needing to be taught, the money that’s got to be made, and the bills that have to be paid… All I could ask myself was, “Who signed me up for this sh*t?”

Surely I would’ve chosen a better life for myself. One where I could be on the beach somewhere with a fruity drink, reading a romantic novel on my kindle. One where I’m watching the sunset, until I head for my luxury high rise apartment to soak in the tub for an hour in silence, contemplating the great things that I’m going to accomplish.

Bam! My son slips on a toy and the screaming grows louder and interrupting my impromptu daydream. I can’t today.

“Alright! Y’all can have some screen time while I cook dinner.”

The tears begin to dry and the frowns fade as my now happy children run upstairs to enjoy their own sweet escape with the likes of Doc McStuffins, Zoboomafoo, and Garfield. While they’re away I cry dry tears because I’m all out of them. I ask God how the hell am I supposed to manage this tall task without the in house support I never expected to go without.

It took months, weeks, and a few days for me to get it. Not for God to actually give me an answer because I’ve always had it, but for me to be quiet and still enough to hear it. I was sick and lost my voice for about a week. My children were sick as well. We were carless while I saved up for a car and had no choice but to be with each other, in all our messiness and disarray. It was then and there when I surrendered to the divine calling that had been ringing in my ear for years.

I’m here to teach, connect, and help tell the stories of the women who can relate. I’ve been running around like a chicken with my head cut off because I kept trying to do everything but listen to that call. I was distracted by social media and entertainment. Paralyzed by imposter syndrome. And held hostage mentally by brain fog due to chronic dehydration and poor diet choices.

My children were suffering from the same in their own ways, as they are the greatest reflections of me. I decided it was time to act on my knowledge and wisdom and begin to make healing a lifestyle again. I know the herbs, the remedies, the practices. I know where to go to hear God when I lack clarity and vision. I know how to foster a sense of peace, stability, and well being within myself and my children. In the past, I’ve released the responsibility because my focus was elsewhere and the weight of it all was too heavy. Now, I’m redirecting my energy towards walking in purpose and having a lasting positive impact on myself, my lineage, and any of the mothers who I have the privilege of connecting with.

To my audience, thank you for being a part of this journey with me. I cannot wait to see how far we go! Let’s Grow!